Green Eggs and Jihad

I so wish I could take credit for this...but I heard it on Bill Bennett's "Morning in America" and found the text. It's lengthy, but for those with small children (or have had at one point) the sing-song will rhythm will come to you in an instant..BRILLIANT!!!

(tempo and pattern of Green eggs and Ham)
That mission-plan!
That mission-plan!
I do not like that mission plan!

Do you like the soldier-man?
I do like the soldier-man!
I just don't like the mission plan!

Would you like it here or there?
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like the mission plan.
But I like the soldier-man.

Can you see the jihad-man?
Can you see him in Iran?
I cannot see him in Iran.
I cannot see the jihad-man!
And if I saw him in Iraq,
I'd have to take my protest back!
I do not see the jihad-man,
I do not like this mission-plan!

Would you fight him in St. Paul?
Would you oppose jihad at all?

Not in St. Paul,
nowhere at all!
Not in Iran,
Not in Iraq!
I will not fight him here or there,
I will not fight him anywhere.
I still support the soldier-man,
although I hate the mission-plan!

Would you? Could you? Cut the funds?
Take the money, and then run?

I would not, could not, cut the funds!
You may cut them. You will see!
Take the cash for AFDC!
I would not, could not cut the funds.
Nor give the cash to anyone!
I need to get elected soon.
I cannot cut the money, loon!

I do not like this mission plan,
but the voters are big fans!
al-Sadr left his cozy house,
bin Laden's hiding like a mouse!
The mission-plan is working well!
My strategy may go to hell?

A vote! A vote! A vote! A vote!
Could you, would you, take a vote?

Not on the floor,
nor in committee,
A vote right now would be a pity!
I could not vote now to de-fund,
Two thousand eight is all but won!
I will not criticize Barack,
Or Clinton's vote to hit Iraq.

I do not like the mission-plan.
Or the ignorant soldier-man!
Whoops I didn't say that right,
please don't quote me, I was tight!

Say! In the dark?
You're in the dark?
Did you just make a dumb remark?
I will not comment on that remark.

Would you, could you, on the news?
I would not, could not, on the news!

I support the soldier-man!
I just don't like this mission plan!
I do not see jihadi-man, in Iraq or in Iran!
I did not say "I don't respect?"
I told a joke, to bad effect.
The Right can all just go to heck!

You do not want to win the war?
I do not want to, anymore.
Won't you fight the bad jihadi?
I'm afraid of Sadr's Mahdi
Do you want to flee right now?
No, let's "redeploy" somehow!

I cannot vote to cut supplies—
voters prize our soldiers' lives.
But I so hate the Bushie-man, that I need to have a plan!
I'll say I love the soldier-man!
Really, truly, I'm a fan!
Just 'cause I don't want to pay him,
Does not mean I'm seeking mayhem...

Since I cannot cut the money,
I'll try to make the PLAN look funny.
(And also call the Prez a dummy)

I do not like this mission-plan!
But I do love the soldier-man!
You love the soldier- man, you say.
Then support him, every day!
Read the plan again, I say.

Say! If you will let me be,
I will read it. You will see.
Oops! This is a groovy plan!
This plan could make a better land.
This surge-y plan, this "take and hold,"
Could make jihadis much less bold?

I will not support it, though!
My party says it has to go!
Two thousand eight is near, we'll win it;
I can't switch parties, like Bill Bennett.
I do not have the courage to,
defeat's my only happy news.
And I will focus on the bad.
And I will make Iraqis sad.
I will not fight jihadis there.
I will not fight them ANYWHERE!
This is Bush's mission-plan.
I can't support it...
until Hillary flip-flops and says it was hers.

Imigration protester...please read!!!

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:

• You are required to let me stay in your house
• You are required to add me to your family's health insurance plan
• You are required to educate my kids
• You are required to provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house.

And what a deal it is for me!!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior. Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!

Only in America .....if you agree, pass it on this link (in English). Share it if you see the value of it.

Those who doubt...

This is one of the most succinct summary of what we are fighting against.

Worldwide Shariah law is their only objective, so let's give them the west bank, let's run out of Iraq and leave it to the wolves...

Snippetts of strategies and goals gleaned from Musab Al-Zarqawi before he was drafted as a first round 500lb bomb catcher:

As for our political agenda as some people call it, so we find it summarized richly in the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him), "I have been sent with the sword, between the hands of the hour, until Allah is worshipped alone".

We fight in the way of Allah, until the law of Allah is implemented, and the first step is to expel the enemy, then establish the Islamic state, then we set forth to conquer the lands of Muslims to return them back to us, then after that, we fight the kuffar (disbelievers)

And by Allah if it wasn't that the Americans were fighting us, and they did not attack our homes, they and the Jews, it is better for Muslims not to sit back from jihad in the way of Allah until the law of Allah is implemented on this basis and Islam would spread everywhere.

Our political agenda now is to expel the imposing enemy, this is the beginning, and our agenda after it is to establish the Shariah of Allah on earth.

We are working to spread the equality of Islam throughout the globe, to wipe away the darkness of disbelief and the misconceptions of the other religions. We pray to Allah to increase the fighting skills of the Ummah for that reason. We pray to Allah to bless us so that we may expel this occupying enemy to retrieve the rights of Muslims and purify their houses from the uncleanness of the unbelievers and shirk. And then, we spread the religion of Allah on earth. We do not find any reason to hide this clear matter for it is a matter that our Lord has written in His book and made it obligatory on His slaves.

We, the Muslims are one nation and the lands of Islam are one land, we fight for the sake of "there is no god but Allah". We do not fight for merely a land but because we are ordered to protect the people of Islam and we must can not escape the protection of the egg (referring to land) of the Muslims and helping all our brothers and sisters in Islam. This is the very basis; that the Muslim helps his brother Muslim

So we fight in Iraq for its sake and for others. We fight in Iraq and our eyes or on Bait al Maqqdis (Jerusalem).

Israel is the controller of the American government and has the longer hand in the political decisions of America and some other large countries. The Jews are using them to fulfill their dream of creating a great nation from the Nile to the Euphrates. At the same time, they are using them to control the Arabian Peninsula and the riches of the Muslims the way they want.

When will the left learn that you don't negotiate with terrorist, you can't compromise with evil. When good compromises with evil evil wins every time. C'mon folks, wake up!

5 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me (thanks R_V)

OK, R_V tagged me...
So without any further ado, here are my 5 things

1. I definately married up! My wife is an absolute knockout and I am often asked how I managed that. Don't Know
2. I was an all conference Rugby player in college (played fullback for California University) for 3 years (played 5 years) (you would probably never guess given my current physical stsate)

3. If given the chance to return to any point in history and live there for a period of time I would like to go to the "wild west" and be a cowboy.

4. If I were to win the stupid money lottery I would make it a goal of mine to see a football game in every venue in a single season. (I would also employ "vertically challenged" individuals to stand as lantern jockeys at the entrance to my driveway and also employ some for various outdoor parties to dress as lawn gnomes. I'm 100% serious and would pay them well)

5. I have a very warped sense of humor so much so that my boss refers to me periodically as "S.B." (for sick bastard)

Given that I have only had R_V, Jonathan, Stephaine and Hewhocannotbenamed have ever been and posted on my blog and 3 have already been tagged, I can really ony "Tag" hewho (if he reads this)