Green Eggs and Jihad

I so wish I could take credit for this...but I heard it on Bill Bennett's "Morning in America" and found the text. It's lengthy, but for those with small children (or have had at one point) the sing-song will rhythm will come to you in an instant..BRILLIANT!!!

(tempo and pattern of Green eggs and Ham)
That mission-plan!
That mission-plan!
I do not like that mission plan!

Do you like the soldier-man?
I do like the soldier-man!
I just don't like the mission plan!

Would you like it here or there?
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like the mission plan.
But I like the soldier-man.

Can you see the jihad-man?
Can you see him in Iran?
I cannot see him in Iran.
I cannot see the jihad-man!
And if I saw him in Iraq,
I'd have to take my protest back!
I do not see the jihad-man,
I do not like this mission-plan!

Would you fight him in St. Paul?
Would you oppose jihad at all?

Not in St. Paul,
nowhere at all!
Not in Iran,
Not in Iraq!
I will not fight him here or there,
I will not fight him anywhere.
I still support the soldier-man,
although I hate the mission-plan!

Would you? Could you? Cut the funds?
Take the money, and then run?

I would not, could not, cut the funds!
You may cut them. You will see!
Take the cash for AFDC!
I would not, could not cut the funds.
Nor give the cash to anyone!
I need to get elected soon.
I cannot cut the money, loon!

I do not like this mission plan,
but the voters are big fans!
al-Sadr left his cozy house,
bin Laden's hiding like a mouse!
The mission-plan is working well!
My strategy may go to hell?

A vote! A vote! A vote! A vote!
Could you, would you, take a vote?

Not on the floor,
nor in committee,
A vote right now would be a pity!
I could not vote now to de-fund,
Two thousand eight is all but won!
I will not criticize Barack,
Or Clinton's vote to hit Iraq.

I do not like the mission-plan.
Or the ignorant soldier-man!
Whoops I didn't say that right,
please don't quote me, I was tight!

Say! In the dark?
You're in the dark?
Did you just make a dumb remark?
I will not comment on that remark.

Would you, could you, on the news?
I would not, could not, on the news!

I support the soldier-man!
I just don't like this mission plan!
I do not see jihadi-man, in Iraq or in Iran!
I did not say "I don't respect?"
I told a joke, to bad effect.
The Right can all just go to heck!

You do not want to win the war?
I do not want to, anymore.
Won't you fight the bad jihadi?
I'm afraid of Sadr's Mahdi
Do you want to flee right now?
No, let's "redeploy" somehow!

I cannot vote to cut supplies—
voters prize our soldiers' lives.
But I so hate the Bushie-man, that I need to have a plan!
I'll say I love the soldier-man!
Really, truly, I'm a fan!
Just 'cause I don't want to pay him,
Does not mean I'm seeking mayhem...

Since I cannot cut the money,
I'll try to make the PLAN look funny.
(And also call the Prez a dummy)

I do not like this mission-plan!
But I do love the soldier-man!
You love the soldier- man, you say.
Then support him, every day!
Read the plan again, I say.

Say! If you will let me be,
I will read it. You will see.
Oops! This is a groovy plan!
This plan could make a better land.
This surge-y plan, this "take and hold,"
Could make jihadis much less bold?

I will not support it, though!
My party says it has to go!
Two thousand eight is near, we'll win it;
I can't switch parties, like Bill Bennett.
I do not have the courage to,
defeat's my only happy news.
And I will focus on the bad.
And I will make Iraqis sad.
I will not fight jihadis there.
I will not fight them ANYWHERE!
This is Bush's mission-plan.
I can't support it...
until Hillary flip-flops and says it was hers.